Blog #2- a month since the first one,...I suck.

Its Monday, May 18, 2009. The sky has been ugly as hell all day. You know, how it looks when its just about to storm? Yeah, just like that, but it doesn’t rain….all day. So some would say “It was shitty in New York”. Yet, Brooklyn was still poppin. Crown Heights was….Crown Heights. Beautiful in itself. The Broward Park was crackin all day…up until niggaz started trippin and about 7 fights broke out…all at once. Down the street, we in the building stairway….chillin, putting it in the air. I’m always stopping thru to check on the neighborhood goons. For some reason….I can just do that. I don’t know why….. …. … .. .ok, ok..I do. Want me to tell you? Nope. That’s another blog. As I was saying, I’m always stoppin thru , getting that motivation. Thirty minutes then I’m out. Good Morning America. That’s the name of the street album that I’m pushin. My album. My first album. Although most of it consists of my first times in the booth, I’m still pushing it. Shit, “So Many Dreams” is on there. (lol). But its crazy how much love I get out here. It really is. I gettem off for about two dollars, and theres about 700 joints out here in New York, since what?..03/25. I mean, it be funny. Niggaz be mad and shit. I walk up…giv’em my speech. They look at me, muggin strong as hell….(deep voice) ”Where u say u from? Florida? Man..Gimme dat shit”….”How much u say it is? 2? Heres 5, now get da fuck from round here” LOL. I walk off, head down and shit. Lol. But seriously, when I’m out grinding, I frequently hear “Hey yo…dat shit ill son…no frontin, no frontin…dat shit….is ill”. And I still feel sometimes like this album is a misrepresentation of me. I gotta go ahead and drop another one. But anyways, basically what I’m sayin is God is good. I think its definitely been a blessing, especially coming from this angle. What angle? You know, going against the grain. And I know, I know, everybody has their story. Once again, another blog. But the grind is beautiful. Out here everyday, all day selling units. Interacting with the world. Meeting new personalities, new characters. Some animated, some laid back. Some lame, some cool as hell. And all show luv. Well, to Jebre anyway. Lol. Theres that third person crap…already. Pray for me. And I still haven’t found a studio yet. Why is that? Its getting kind of scary. U can only know what I’m talking about if you are or have worked in the studio before. Niggaz be apprehensive as hell. Don’t get me wrong, love is shown up here in New York. But when it comes to this studio shit. Hate is so strong, you can smell it in the air. You can smell it on a niggaz breath. Especially when they talkin that bullshit. But I’m quickly becoming repellant. “I Need Beats….I Need Beats!!!” That’s all u hear. I got beats. But cats don’t wanna work with me. They wanna pay for beats but at a super low rate. And if you try and charge a higher rate they say you trippin. I be feelin like my beats be scaring the shit outta people. They don’t even want you to know how much your beats are worth. Just so they don’t look like they owe me anything (not even appreciation). Yeah its fucked up out here. And it’s a mental battle out here especially with these engineers that make beats. I be like, damn. And don’t let em know im an artist. Oh God. They swear I already have a budget. Its too confusing to even get mad at. I’m just in awe. That’s like some one sayin. “go to hell, fuck you, you da shit” lol. What can I say?.....I love New York?

Stay tuned.

J.